w i l d t o t a m e

my relationship with casey started fast and wild. luckily, not only was it care-free and mildly insane, it was perfect. i saw this quote a day ago and was reminded me of how different we are and that’s why we work.

what we find in a soul mate is not something wild to tame, but something wild to run with. 

robert brault

i panic. i worry. and i am hells sure I ain’t as crazy as i once was

.... probably the reason we are still alive.

he, the exact opposite. he is dedicated, sweet, and totally worry free.

he is who keeps us balanced and feeds my wild bug.

unfortunately, this whole growing up and responsibility thing manipulates us to thinking that there is one right way. we start comparing ourselves to others who have conformed to society’s “right answer” for everything. individualism is lost.

not us folk.

we let each other be our own person.

we had to learn to let each other be our own person.

sometimes it’s difficult to let you spouse do their own thing. to be their unique, wild, wonderful self. the last few weeks i have focused on letting the husband be the husband, instead of trying to force him to be who i think the husband should be. i stopped trying to force my agenda on him. we are growing together and we seem happier when we simply encourage each other. it’s strange what you can learn from someone when you stop trying to run everything.

i have also focused a lot on who i want to be. how i want to define myself. i am a working woman. i am a wife. but who am i really? i set goals for the year to keep focused on what i want. i became lazy this summer. we got busy and even more so, i pretend to be busy. i have a lot of pretty hefty goals in this life. i want to push myself in extreme sports. control my fears on a cliff side. run longer than is right. test my body, even more so my mind, to see what it can do. to see what is past the point of reason. meet new people. grow from relationships and experiences. i have found that the best interactions with people come when limits are pushed and walls are down. i want it clear i choose experiences over things. limit the things i own, appreciate the now, and put more value into living.

the amazing climber, steph davis, posted this today from backcountry.
i would dare say it will inspire just about anyone.

here, blood meets rock, sweat meets trail, and the well-worn path to a routine existence reaches its terminus. this is an invitation to feed your wanderlust, to rediscover the spark inside you and feel the strain of your muscles against the forces of nature. every second is about action—it's gas and a match fed to grit and determination. 

 so when you are ready to suck the bloody marrow out of this bone called life… we’re ready for ya.

pictures from lunch in my mother's garden.

s a i n t v a l e n t i n e

eating the entire bag of candy your work gave you before 11 am is probably a sign that it is going to be a good day.

happy valentine’s day lovers… and haters.

to be honest i still have no idea what i am going to do for casey tonight. i am thinking station 22 vegan dinner (which i am going to pretend i made), the record player, old albums, candles, and some painting.

original I know.

you have to understand every day with this human is amazing.

i have never been more in love with that husband of mine than i am today.

i am sure i will say the same thing tomorrow.

there is nothing like lying in bed together in the late mornings,

howling and howling to get miss june to speak

and she just looks at us like we are idiots.
(probably what are neighbors think as well.)

or trying to sleep in the back of a van in the philippines

on a 3 hour car ride listening to rave music

with some germans, to jump in the ocean with 12 whale sharks.

we have just barely put an indent into the list of places we want to travel to.

we haven’t climbed the cliffs that we feel we need to.

we don’t have children.

and we sometimes spend money on climb gear rather than grown up things.

but i wouldn't change it for the world.

those moments of playing hangman in a park downtown korea,

where no one knows your language and no one from home knows where you are

makes you realize it’s you. and it’s him.

and that’s really all that matters.

“he’s more myself then i am. 
whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”

emily bronte

“so love, you should know what to look for
and exactly where to go…

take your time and don’t worry about getting lost.
you’ll find me.
up there, a finger and two dots away.

if you’re wondering if i’ll still be able to hold you
…i honestly don’t know

but i do know that i could still fall for
a swish of light that comes barreling
and cascading towards me.

it will resemble your sweet definite hands.
the universe will bend.
the planets will bow.
and i will say “oh, there you are. i been waitin’ for ya. now we can go.”

a finder, two dots, then me.

derrick brown

o n e y e a r

s o s m i t t e n

this made my jaw drop.

this is the most incredible "very non wedding" wedding i have ever seen.

their style. her hair. his hair. the dress. the photography. the tattoos.

how bad ass.

e n g a g e d

this just so happened yesterday...

amy fromm, casey's sister and my best friend got engaged last night. travis called casey last week to ask if there was a climb somewhere nearby with enough room at the top to pop the question. we had just the spot. tuesday we took him up to red slab in rock canyon to take a look. it's an easy climb with a view of the city. he was a bunch of nerves, but who wouldn't be.
 
wednessday, i left work a little early and belayed casey to the top to leave a backpack. i drove home to meet the love birds at our house, pretending i was coming home from work to meet them since amy had asked to go climbing. casey would meet us up there as he was at his "scuba diving" class.

we hiked up and casey led the climb again, came back down, and travis went up. we were going to do the next pitches, so we told him to stay up there and toss down the rope. we tried stalling amy for as long as possible. when she got to the top there he was in a suit. casey and i sat at the bottom and let them enjoy the moment and the awesome sunset. kinda perfect eh?

can you believe monday is on one year anniversary?