m e d i c i n e

sometimes songs just speak to you.

bodies on consignment.
return them to the circus,

and what is the purpose?

what is the purpose and would you believe it?

would you believe it if you knew what you were for,

and how you became so informed.

bodies of info performing such miracles.

i am a miracle made up of particles

and in this existence,

i’ll stay persistent,

and i’ll make a difference
and i will have lived it. 

i go back and forth every single day.
the clarity that comes to me in a choppy way,
as the feelings

and the places
and the seasons change,
the galaxies remain.
energy fields cone the body in space.
the angels that are coming from a spiritual waste.
the hate that gets me distant from my spiritual pace.

b a s e j u m p i n g a n d b o o k s

if you remember, a few weeks ago i ran into my favorite pro climber steph davis and she invited us to go base jumping in moab. sadly, sunday her husband, base jumper mario richard, died in a base jumping accident in italy's dolomite mountains.

i didn’t know much about her husband and had never met him,

but i have his company card in my wallet that my skydiving instructor handed me and said i should take a go.
from the comments in the climbing and base jumping community it is very clear what an outstanding guy he was and the huge support his wife has at this time.
and our thoughts are with her.

coincidentally, yesterday (a day after i heard the news) her book learning to fly arrived in the mail and i was anxiously awaiting to get home from work to start reading. one problem.... casey wanted me to read it with him.
we read and study a lot of things together, but when a book i am entirely interested in arrives,
i need to read it. i need to read it now. and i need to read it fast.

so, i began to read it out loud to him in the car on the way to my company party yesterday.
i read it out loud on the way home.
and then i read to him for over an hour while he worked out and i sat in my underwear on the couch.
the only thing that got me to stop was a horse throat and the lightening calling my name outside.

the two of us and june sat in silent respect on the front porch watching the electricity light up the sky.
for thirty minutes we just watched. in the moment. without thought to anything else in the world.
i find more peace when the rain pours and the earth talks. june seems to enjoy it equally.
it’s simply nature. washing and feeding herself.

we are on our way to st George for some climbing and good times with a group of friends
and i am anxious to jump in the car to keep reading from where we left off.

june gets to stay home with the house sitter.
lucky her. not. i'm going to miss that skunk butt (*story about that later)
but dogs are not allowed on this trip so hopefully she will catch up on some puppy sleep
since she has been going to work with casey every day.

to brighten the day and ring in the weekend
here is a tune that floods my memories of boise and flirting and record shops.
we love miss nina simone and life should be celebrated. 

w i l d t o t a m e

my relationship with casey started fast and wild. luckily, not only was it care-free and mildly insane, it was perfect. i saw this quote a day ago and was reminded me of how different we are and that’s why we work.

what we find in a soul mate is not something wild to tame, but something wild to run with. 

robert brault

i panic. i worry. and i am hells sure I ain’t as crazy as i once was

.... probably the reason we are still alive.

he, the exact opposite. he is dedicated, sweet, and totally worry free.

he is who keeps us balanced and feeds my wild bug.

unfortunately, this whole growing up and responsibility thing manipulates us to thinking that there is one right way. we start comparing ourselves to others who have conformed to society’s “right answer” for everything. individualism is lost.

not us folk.

we let each other be our own person.

we had to learn to let each other be our own person.

sometimes it’s difficult to let you spouse do their own thing. to be their unique, wild, wonderful self. the last few weeks i have focused on letting the husband be the husband, instead of trying to force him to be who i think the husband should be. i stopped trying to force my agenda on him. we are growing together and we seem happier when we simply encourage each other. it’s strange what you can learn from someone when you stop trying to run everything.

i have also focused a lot on who i want to be. how i want to define myself. i am a working woman. i am a wife. but who am i really? i set goals for the year to keep focused on what i want. i became lazy this summer. we got busy and even more so, i pretend to be busy. i have a lot of pretty hefty goals in this life. i want to push myself in extreme sports. control my fears on a cliff side. run longer than is right. test my body, even more so my mind, to see what it can do. to see what is past the point of reason. meet new people. grow from relationships and experiences. i have found that the best interactions with people come when limits are pushed and walls are down. i want it clear i choose experiences over things. limit the things i own, appreciate the now, and put more value into living.

the amazing climber, steph davis, posted this today from backcountry.
i would dare say it will inspire just about anyone.

here, blood meets rock, sweat meets trail, and the well-worn path to a routine existence reaches its terminus. this is an invitation to feed your wanderlust, to rediscover the spark inside you and feel the strain of your muscles against the forces of nature. every second is about action—it's gas and a match fed to grit and determination. 

 so when you are ready to suck the bloody marrow out of this bone called life… we’re ready for ya.

pictures from lunch in my mother's garden.

t u e s d a y ' s t u n e s v. 1 0

a day late..

i'm pretty famous for completely wearing out a song.

i listen to one song. on repeat. all day at work.

on the way home. while i shower.

and as i get into bed at night. 

for weeks at a time.

i use the shit out of it. 

.... until one day i am just done with it.

i used it for all its got.

i took every meaning out of it.

i cried to it. i danced to it. i slept to it.

this is one of those songs.

the piano… oh the piano.

the perfect amount of whistling and snapping.

the subtle swaying tune is so romantic and inviting to dance to in the early morning hours.

alex ebert explained the meaning of the song to artist direct: "there was this idea and this imagery of various people struggling," he said. "then, in the best way possible, it just doesn't matter in the end. there's a relaxation of allowance and muddying everything up in the sense that i think a lot of our hard lines will dissolve in a great sort of spiritual rain, if you will. a lot of the divisions and the things so many people hold as paramount or important are going to be suddenly disappearing when the big rain happens. i mean that in a metaphorical sense. maybe it's death or some other time, but i do really feel that."

 all wash out

edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros

here come chilly preacher
stumbling 'gainst the wind
singing love, love is something to believe in
a prayer and the sea
and twenty tons of me
crying love, love is something to believe in

to my child of wonder rambling
all my crooked fingers pointing blame
let it all wash out in the rain
yes let it all wash out in the rain

beyond the drunken focus of my aim
all my heroes twisting in the flame
let's let it all wash out in the rain
let it all wash out in the rain

one more for forgiveness
twisting in the cold
singing love, love is something i believe in
too much my defenses
are dangling from the chain
oh but free, free is something to believe in

to my god i want my gypsy train
too my child a howlin' tambourine
let it all wash out in the rain
let it all wash out in the rain
yes let it all wash out in the rain
let it all wash out in the rain

d o n t y o u w o r r y

hello lovelies. i haven’t forgot about this blog of mine. 

i promise to return with news of traveling, beautiful music, lots of pictures, updates on my 25^th year goals, and random words of wisdom (right).

for now.

stop. close your eyes. and just enjoy my favorite song of the day. 
swaying is definitely permitted.

a p r i l - 1 1

the last few days have been gloomy

and my attitude has seemed to follow suit.

im snappy and bitchy

and have not really had anything pleasant to say.

quite frankly.. there has not been one reason for it.

last weekend we had a bon fire with our neighbors.

saturday, while i went to a baby shower,

casey did the yard work.

then we did what we wanted.

seriously... that was our plan for the evening.

do whatever we want.

this meant looking for chickens, eating mexican food, 

and shopping for underwear at target.

sunday, i went for a 9 mile run with this babe,

listened to a bit of conference,

and ate birthday cake for this guy.

like i said. 

no reason for the negativity. 

in fact this week has been great.

i found out i have 28 days of paid vacation left

this guy is coming to town.

i got our front runner passes from work.

i bought running shorts and socks in the little girl department.

i ate an entire beto's burrito the other night.

we're booking our dallas, tx and rangers tickets.

and.. i bought this book on Amazon. 

i found this when i got home last night.

heart melted.

i am a bit addicted to this song right now.

prepare to have your mind blown.

p a j a m a s a n d c o l d s

i don’t think i will be wearing shorts this weekend.
snow has graced our town once again.
however, we will be strolling down to the local music gallery
to let jay williams henderson serenade our souls.

i’m excited to do nothing this weekend.
we have been hiding out in our home this week
in pajamas testing out cold remedies on the husband.
tea. lemons. oils. back to tea.

he may not attest, but i found it quite lovely.
the nights were quiet and the dishes stacked up.
and i skipped all 5 days of my running schedule.
why end this now?

have a lovely Friday.

t h e b e s t t h i n g s i n l i f e

i needed several days of rest from the weekend we had.
the warm weather, hot tub, food, climbing,
and chatting around the fire with friends was just what this 
little heart needed.

but the concert. it was wild.
it was very wild.

sweet hannah over at 

stay gold 

tagged me in this post.
and because i completely agree that
the best things in life aren’t things,

here are my best things

1. my husband’s love
2. appreciation
3. weekends
4. the history of everyday people
5. the middle of nowhere
6. strong, graceful women
7. going home to a happy animal
8. goals
9. dark, starry nights
10. pictures

and because we missed tuesdays tunes,
enjoy..

"some call love a curse, some call love a thief 

but she's my home 

and she's as much apart for this broken heart, 

but see broken bones always seem to mend"