Tuesday, April 22, 2014

w e d d i n g

in a chest in oklahoma, i found one of my great, great
 grandmother's wedding dresses.

yes. wedding. dress.

it was old, slightly eerie, and perfect. just my size.
i danced around the yard in it and my mother snapped these pictures.
because i am the only one that would ever fit it, it's mine now. 
i also ran away with an old typewriter.


Thursday, March 20, 2014

w h a t i f

"what if our religion was each other, if our practice was our life, if prayer, our words. what if the temple was the earth, if forests were our church, if holy water- our rivers, lakes, and ocean. what if mediation was our relationships, if the teacher was life, if wisdom was self-knowledge. if adventure was the center of our being."
-ganga white

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

m e d i c i n e

sometimes songs just speak to you.

bodies on consignment.
return them to the circus,
and what is the purpose?
what is the purpose and would you believe it?
would you believe it if you knew what you were for,
and how you became so informed.
bodies of info performing such miracles.
i am a miracle made up of particles
and in this existence,
i’ll stay persistent,
and i’ll make a difference
and i will have lived it. 

i go back and forth every single day.
the clarity that comes to me in a choppy way,
as the feelings
and the places
and the seasons change,
the galaxies remain.
energy fields cone the body in space.
the angels that are coming from a spiritual waste.
the hate that gets me distant from my spiritual pace.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

t h e e v e

from the eve of my 26th birthday-january 21, 2014

i sit here as the minutes tick by. eventually, time will indicate that another year has gone by.

tonight i have eaten nineteen reese's peanut butter cups, gave my sick husband a massage, and i am now watching junior (yes-the one where arnold schwarzenegger gets prego). i changed it after sitting down to a reality show that made it clear i wasn't beautiful enough, nor do i have enough money. sure, it is me comparing and my comparison rests on a fallacy, a downright lie perhaps. all beautiful, rich people are happy, successful, and never lonely. but this idealization does violence on my reality, so i choose not to watch that happen.

i am allowed to do this.

i'm getting older. what brought on my aging anxiety?

i find myself in a awkward state.
i don't identify myself with those younger. i am much more mature.
and i don't identify with those older as i will never age.

i am in a waiting stage. what happens next?

i have started to take notice that being young is rarely as freeing, and old-near as miserable, as the stereotypes would have me believe. but what is twenty six?

sitting here, i reflect on the last year, the twenty fifth year. it's happened. as i think about the last year, i wish i would have gone to bed earlier, made my husband more dinners, and put more focus into relationships.

goodbye 25th year.
by the way: who is reese? his peanut butter cups are my favorite.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

h o b b l e c r e e k

last monday after work, we tried to catch the last bit of sun up in the mountains.
we grabbed afton and her dog sam and headed to hobble creek canyon.
utah has been pretty rainy lately and nice fall climbing has been hard to find.
so on the few clear nights we head to the cliffs until dark.

we decided on a climb that we have eyed a few times on our way to other climbs.
it is over a river and the start is pretty sketchy with a lot of loose rock.
falling would mean landing on a large sharp boulder in the river.

the worrier i am, convinced casey to stick-clip.

stick clipping is a very useful safety method to use in situations where you really don't want to fall before your first bolt. it’s a technique using a long stick attached to your draw which is secured open to clip to the first bolt. you simply extend the stick up to the first bolt, hook your draw to the bolt, and yank the stick down so the quickdraw locks to the bolt. your rope is through the other side of your draw so once it's clipped, your tied in, and your belayer has you on belay, you don't have to worry about falling before the first bolt. 

see mom.... we are safe ;)

unfortunately, the climb was not  safe. 
the rock was even more brittle than we thought.
instead of sending rocks down at my head, 
casey had to down climb the wall.. never fun.

but we're safe and happy and still love climbing.
thanks to afton for the pictures. 
it's fun to have someone there to capture your happy moments in life. 

Friday, August 23, 2013

b a s e j u m p i n g a n d b o o k s

if you remember, a few weeks ago i ran into my favorite pro climber steph davis and she invited us to go base jumping in moab. sadly, sunday her husband, base jumper mario richard, died in a base jumping accident in italy's dolomite mountains.

i didn’t know much about her husband and had never met him,
but i have his company card in my wallet that my skydiving instructor handed me and said i should take a go.
from the comments in the climbing and base jumping community it is very clear what an outstanding guy he was and the huge support his wife has at this time.
and our thoughts are with her.

coincidentally, yesterday (a day after i heard the news) her book learning to fly arrived in the mail and i was anxiously awaiting to get home from work to start reading. one problem.... casey wanted me to read it with him.
we read and study a lot of things together, but when a book i am entirely interested in arrives,
i need to read it. i need to read it now. and i need to read it fast.

so, i began to read it out loud to him in the car on the way to my company party yesterday.
i read it out loud on the way home.
and then i read to him for over an hour while he worked out and i sat in my underwear on the couch.
the only thing that got me to stop was a horse throat and the lightening calling my name outside.

the two of us and june sat in silent respect on the front porch watching the electricity light up the sky.
for thirty minutes we just watched. in the moment. without thought to anything else in the world.
i find more peace when the rain pours and the earth talks. june seems to enjoy it equally.
it’s simply nature. washing and feeding herself.

we are on our way to st George for some climbing and good times with a group of friends
and i am anxious to jump in the car to keep reading from where we left off.

june gets to stay home with the house sitter.
lucky her. not. i'm going to miss that skunk butt (*story about that later)
but dogs are not allowed on this trip so hopefully she will catch up on some puppy sleep
since she has been going to work with casey every day.

to brighten the day and ring in the weekend
here is a tune that floods my memories of boise and flirting and record shops.
we love miss nina simone and life should be celebrated.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

s t e w a r t f a l l s

sorry for the journal of a blog. 
ok, not really.

last week, i needed to get up into the mountains. 

we invited my sister afton and her husband, travis.
even though casey got bit by something that made him go ghostly white...
once he put some mud on it, the hike was amazing.

i love me some stewart falls.
it's a short easy hike to do after work
and we enjoyed a nice little dinner at the falls.
if you have never been... go.

c a n a d a

we always go up to waterton national park and raymond alberta for july 1. 
here are pictures from our trip.

p s i c o b l o c

i think the gods were awarding me this last weekend
for something good i must have done in a previous life.
yes, my weekend was that good.

friday night we met up with amy and travis at the psicobloc competition in park city
to watch some of the best climbers in the world.
we ran into some friends, stuffed our faces with granola, and cheered on our favorites.
it was nothing short of amazing.

saturday started off lazy. i like lazy.
casey worked on the bus and when i finally got out of bed,
i ran around town with my sister.
stopped first to grab some veggies at the farmer's market,
a little shopping, and then to the blue pablano for some lunch.

i took a little nap and then casey and i went to barnes and noble, a favorite of ours.
the coffee, and browsing, and quiet... aww breathe.
casey read books on the BMW bus and i read a book on serial killers.
we decided to see a movie and 5 minutes later we were catching an early showing of 2 guns

casey made me a super romantic dinner with homemade spaghetti,
i grilled up some corn, and we ended the night with some breaking bad.

sunday we woke up late and missed our date with af canyon.
if you don’t get up there early, some of the walls are way too hot in the summer.
instead, we headed back up to park city for the arts festival and park silly market.

after chats on main street, listening to live music, and running into good friends,
we eventually made our way back up to the olympic park.
they opened up the climbing wall from the competition (easy version) to the public.
casey climbed the wall and i met my all time favorite pro climber.

just look up steph davis. 
she is an incredible climber, base jumper, and book writer.
i made an ass out of myself, having our good friend grab her so i could get my picture with her.
it was awesome. and i even got a personal invite to go base jump.
will do.